You may or may not have heard of the "husband stitch" as a preventative measure for a loose vagina after childbirth.

If you have I can hear your "ugh...yes". If you haven't, allow me to explain:

After you have gone through hours of painful labor and pushed a massive child out of your vagina you may get to experience being stitched up in case you tore or had an episiotomy. A "husband stitch" takes this one step further and one extra stitch is given during the repair of the vaginal tissues after a tear or episiotomy to make sure that there's no loose vagina as a result of bringing a child into the world.

Now, this seems like it might be one of those wives tales like in this post, but according to many accounts of women who have experienced it, it is not. While it is not common practice it has been known to happen (mostly with consent from the woman- but not always).

Your delicate vaginal opening has experienced penetration from something around 3'' in diameter. That seems like a reasonable, non-intimidating, and not life-altering measurement of girth. However, you’re suddenly, you're spitting out a kid the size of a melon and you're worried that you and your vagina will never be the same again.

Will I get a "loose vagina" from childbirth?

First of all, there's a super negative connotation with the term "loose vagina". It's sexist, derogatory, and quite frankly, the size of your vagina isn't exactly measurable. If anyone ever tells you that you have a loose vagina please make sure they know that maybe their penis shrunk.

"Vaginal laxity" is the term used to describe any stretching of your vagina.

When you bring your baby through your birth canal there is some stretching. However, your vagina was made for this shit. Like, actually. Your vagina is like an elastic that expands for sexual activities and childbirth. Sexual intercourse allows that expansion to occur on a smaller scale than childbirth and won't cause extensive vaginal elasticity. It makes sense, though, that on a scale like that of childbirth, there may be some extra stretching (but don't worry, it can be repaired...we'll get into that in a sec.)

Age, number of births (I thought I was fucked, BTW), and if you have a traumatic birth can all contribute to how “lax” your vagina gets.

For example, a person having their first uncomplicated vaginal birth at age 20 may experience a vaginal snap back easier than someone having their third baby with second-degree tears at age 30.

That said, regardless of your situation, your elastic vagina will spring back to it's pre-Good Goddess there's a baby coming out of me-shape, it just may take a bit more time for some folks than others.

What do I do about vaginal laxity?

The ol' husband stitch isn't the ideal way to fix a loose vagina in any way. in fact, it might be worthwhile to have that chat with your partner, midwife, or doctor to make it entirely clear that you and your vagina would appreciate sutures only up to where your natural vaginal opening begins.

A bit of a shift in your pelvic floor is normal after you've had a baby but there are some preventative measures you can take while you're pregnant to make sure that you don't experience anything above and beyond a little bit of extra vaginal elasticity (think prolapse, extended urinary incontinence, painful intercourse).

Pelvic floor physiotherapy is a corrective measure as well as a preventative measure. That means that you can take a proactive approach to your pelvic floor health now as you sit there in your pregnant glory so that you don't have to do more intensive therapy if you do end up needing extra support after you have vaginal childbirth.

Your pelvic floor is a muscle that needs working out to keep strong. You spend time toning those quads....your pal Your Vagina needs the same TLC!

Cartoon vulva, cartoon vagina copyright Samantha Palmer

Aside from knowing that you've got a buff muff (you can keep this info to yourself or share your accomplishment) having a strong pelvic floor will help you with your labour as well as help you avoid issues that may arise in your pelvic floor as a result of childbirth.

From my personal experience (in case you didn't click on the highlighted "I thought I was fucked" text when I talked about my four kids that I had vaginally) strengthening your pelvic floor is an absolute must-do during your pregnancy and as maintenance after your baby is born.