Motherhood is one tough bitch.
Us Moms work our hineys off keeping our kids alive and maintaining everything else that goes along with that.
You give it 100% but sometimes it’s just too much.
You need some real life mom hacks to make your life as MMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM a little bit easier:
Make a reference sheet
There’s nothing worse than this conversation:
Person: “Can I please have your child’s full name and date of birth?”
You’ll look like super woman if you can fire off an answer without saying “umm, let me check the birth certificate a second” or plain giving the wrong answer. Keep a handy guide close by at all times that has all of this information written down. You can probably get some bonus points if you offer extra information like blood type and astrological sign, so make sure to keep track of even the tiniest of details.
Organize. Fucking. Everything.
Keeping your possessions in order is only half the battle, as you well know.
However, that’s step 1:
Purge your stuff. Get rid of anything that doesn’t have a purpose. Your mind will feel so much less cluttered if your house is. If you have a clean house, you’re more likely to have a clean mind (like, mostly clean…there’s some times when you don’t want a clean mind). This will make you a more effective mother.
This is the hardest part. This is the part when you organize your entire life. Plan your meals and grocery trips, keep up to date with school forms, maintain a schedule of chores for you and the kids, stay on top of your bills, stay up-to-date with your calendar, keep a to-do list so you don’t forget everything (#Mombrain!), and still look like a sexy Mama doing it!
Sounds a little daunting, huh? It doesn’t have to be. Take it bit by bit. ASK FOR HELP. Use these handy printables to keep everything in order. Place them in highly conspicuous areas so that even if you never follow them you’ll at least look like one of those super organized Mamas…and that counts for something!
Wear shorts under your dresses
Let’s face it. You’re constantly picking up kids or cleaning mysterious substances off the floor. Dresses and skirts aren’t the most practical items of clothing for you to be wearing. That said, you haven’t lost yo’ sexy feminine self just because you’ve had a kid or two. Combine practicality and “damn, look at that Mama!” by simply wearing a little pair of spandex shorts under your dress or skirt. Now you can maintain your motherly duties comfortably and fashionably! You no longer have to live in fear that your little angel is going to lift up your dress revealing the undies you peed a little when you sneezed 5 minutes ago!
Add alcohol to everything
Not actually, but the kids don’t need to know that. Are they eyeing that last piece of cake that you thought you hid fairly well and were saving for later? Maybe they’re hoping to scoop out some of the whipped cream on your triple shot mocha?
Tell them they can’t have it because there’s alcohol in it.
It becomes a closed case. They can’t argue with that!
*Don’t consume these “alcoholic” treats while you’re driving for the following reason: “My mom drinks her coffee with alcohol in it while she drives us to school.”
Do everything you possibly can in the car
They’re buckled in, contained, and perhaps even sleeping. Whether it’s all that paperwork you need to finish, giving your tired feet a nice pedicure, or simply enjoying the lack of tiny hands touching you for 5 seconds, you can do it all in the comfort of your vehicle. If the kids start to fight or whine simply put up that partition wall between the front and back seats. Oh, wait, right, that part is only a dream…
What are your favorite Mom hacks to make your life a little bit easier?