Rules of Motherhood

rules of motherhood

In my time as a mother I have done a lot of learning. Some of the lessons have come easily, while some have taken a little more  time to understand.  Of all the things I have learned over time, these are the ones that have resonated with me and have become my rules of Motherhood:

*Make-up can help you look less tired.

*You will forget all the chaos and frustrations of the day when you look at your sleeping children.

*Your best is good enough. Your love is all they really need.

*Wine helps.

*Swearing doesn’t make you a bad mother.

*Taking a break from your children doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It just means you love yourself, too.

That last point.

It’s the one we all seem to have difficulty with, yet it is the most important thing to remember to make sure we can do our job well.

As mothers, we give. We give our bodies, minds, and souls to our children. We do everything in our power to make sure that they are physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy,  that they’re educated, rested, and experiencing opportunities to find themselves so they can develop their unique personalities. We sacrifice things we want and need so that they can have what they want and need. Our desires get pushed to the backburner. We lose ourselves in the world of motherhood by giving 100% of ourselves to our children, and we seem to forget that there is still “you” underneath our identity as a mother.

We love our children. This is evident in the way in which we treat them. When was the last time you gave yourself the same treatment?

Rules of Motherhood

Mama, you need to take care of your body. Sure, cleaning the house and carrying children keeps you moving, but you need to elevate that heart rate. Do cardio. Do yoga.  Eat proper, healthy meals. You wouldn’t let your children skip lunch so they could tidy the house, and they would certainly never be allowed to fill the void in their bellies with a third cup of coffee. Sleep. Shower. Paint your nails.

rules of motherhood

Mama, you need to take care of your mind. Read . Write in a journal. Meditate. Allow yourself the quiet time you need to be able to accomplish this. Send the kids outside or to watch a movie. Ignore the mess. Put on your favorite song and let go. Sing. Dance. Do a crossword. Learn how to make kombucha. Create.

Mama. Your soul. Take care of your soul.  Do whatever it is that brings you joy. Knit. Climb mountains. Volunteer. Think about the things that make up “you” other than being a mother, and embrace them. Don’t let them fall into the abyss of the chaos of life. When your children are less dependent on your care you will be able to regain your individualism. Don’t let that be a struggle. Maintain your relationship with “you” so “you” can flourish when the opportunity arises. Thank yourself. Tell yourself what a great job you’re doing. Buy yourself flowers.

Mama, you MUST do this.

So many of us are running on an empty tank, or even on fumes. It doesn’t take long for that tank to become depleted. You need fuel. Premium fuel. Taking good care of your children requires you to have energy, imagination, and patience. You simply cannot accomplish this if you, yourself is not filled up.

Motherhood involves teaching your children by example. Your children are aware of what you are doing for them. They are aware of the countless hours you put into ensuring they are cared for. They’re also aware of the bags under your eyes and the exhaustion in your voice. You are teaching them the importance of taking care of others. Give them the opportunity to understand the importance of taking care of themselves, as well.  Taking good care of your children begins with taking good care of yourself.

Mama, you are amazing.

You love your children.

Don’t forget to love yourself, too.



  1. Natasha

    Love it. So true, thanks for the reminder<3

    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)


  2. Joleene Moody

    It took me YEARS before I gave myself “me” time. I used to feel guilty about naps and pedicures and adventures with friends. Not so much anymore. It’s SOOO important. I wish for all Mama’s to remember this. Gonna share, cuz I think it needs to be seen. 🙂

    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)

      It took me a long time, too. I always felt selfish, but now that I see the importance I feel guilty if I DON’T make the time for me. Thanks for the share:)

  3. Lisa

    You are so right! Taking some time for yourself makes you a better, more balanced parent. I always have so much more energy when I’ve spent some time doing something just for me. Thank you for this!

    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)


  4. Emily

    This is so true!! We can always use a reminder to make time for all aspects of ourselves!

    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)

      Absolutely. It doesn’t take much to do something for yourself, and the benefits are great!

  5. Chelsea @ the Johnsons plus dof

    Totally needed that this morning ! Thx!

    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)


  6. Sharon

    Thanks for giving moms a break. I loved your first point. Mama take care of your body…. so true ….it sometimes just gets the leftover attention = 0.1!

    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)

      Do you find you get enough exercise? I’m going to try doing video workouts at home and get my kids to do it with me;)

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