when it's not okay to be not okay

When it’s not okay to be not okay

I keep hearing over and over about how “it’s okay to not be okay”.

It is. It is so okay to not be okay. It’s okay if your not okay lasts for a few hours, a day, or maybe even a few days. However, when your not okay lasts for a few weeks it’s not okay to not be okay.

If your bad days are outnumbering your good, there is probably a problem. At least, that’s how I realized there was something wrong.

Anxiety has always been a problem for me, even as a young child. Different stages and circumstances in my life caused my level of anxiety to rise or remain mostly neutral, but in the past few months it has been on a steady incline. Various personal stressors have shifted my gears into overdrive, and all it took was one small event to nearly drive me straight off the cliff.

I noticed that I wasn’t feeling like myself. I saw the degradation in my mood. I stopped wanting to go to social functions. I started snapping at my kids more. I cried frequently. I smiled less. I lost passion, joy, and never felt comfort. I was self-medicating and developing unhealthy habits to mask what I was feeling.

My not okay was no longer okay.

Life has it’s ups and downs. I’d seen that pattern in myself before, but never to this extent and never for this long.

I knew I had to seek help. I started talking to my friends and family and letting them know how I was feeling. Most of them weren’t aware there was anything going on. They saw me continuing on my daily tasks and maintaining normalcy. Normalcy was what I was clinging to. It provided me with a distraction for the chaos that was constantly stirring inside of me

Once I opened up to my friends and family I was reassured that I needed a hand getting through this rough patch. I made doctors appointments, saw the naturopath, met with my accupuncturist, and dropped into the mental health clinic to set up counselling.

Getting what I was experiencing out in the open was proving to be therapeutic already. Many people understood what I was enduring, some did not. However, every single person that I shared with was caring and non-judgemental.

I have confidence that I’ll be okay. Will you? Share with me when you realized you’re not okay was not okay. Comment below or send me an email: sam@moderndayhippie.ca

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