Do you have Myperiod?

myperiod is going around

Imagine if you could see life through your child’s eyes. It would probably go something like this…

 

Mom’s SUPER grumpy today. Every little thing is setting her over the deep end.

For example, I was only on my 4th time asking for candy this morning when she freaked out. I’m not talking her average freak out (exasperated sigh, a moderate increase in the volume of her voice, shaking her head).

No. This was much scarier than that.

 

First she shouted “NO! STOP ASKING”. Then she threw a towel at the counter. Then she started crying.

I thought she was actually going to give in when I saw her reach for the chocolate but I quickly realized that it was for her. The look on Mom’s face and the protective hunkered stance she held made me too afraid to even think about asking for a share.

She continued on in this peculiar state for some time, occasionally grumbling about how much she “hates being a woman” sometimes.

I don’t get it! Women are awesome!! They get to wear make-up, they have boobs, they smell good, and they’re clearly the smartest beings on the planet!!

Now, I normally don’t ask Mom what’s wrong with her. The conversation usually results in her telling me how I’M driving her crazy, what I’M doing wrong and the things that I need to change. I don’t understand why it always ends up being about me…I’m asking what’s wrong with HER.

Anyways, I figured this time would possibly be an exception, and it was! I asked Mom: “what’s wrong?” and prepared myself for my usual half hour talking to. It didn’t happen. She simply said, “Oh, nothing honey, it’s just my period.”

What’s “Myperiod”?? I don’t want to catch it! It seems to make you miserable and tired, makes you look terrible and seems rather painful.

However, it seems that chocolate is a cure…..could it be all that bad??

I decided that the chocolate cure was not worth the symptoms so I maintained a decent distance from Mom for the duration of the day so as not to catch Myperiod.

I also told any women that we encountered during the day that Mom has Myperiod so that they could take the necessary precautions to keep themselves safe.

Thoughtful, eh?!

 

I’m the smartest person in the world.

I'm the smartest person in the world

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1 Comment

  1. Kaleigh

    HAHAHHAHAHA “so as not to catch MyPeriod”

    I’m speaking to my publisher now and will get back to you…

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