natural ways to deal with hemorrhoids

Childbirth can be a pain in the butt! This is what you can do about hemorrhoids!

There are few things that a person truly has to see to believe: a UFO, the Loch Ness monster, and the gigantic hemorrhoids that can result from vaginal childbirth.

9 (million- amiright?!) or so months is ample time for a woman to become educated and informed on what her body is about to experience. She will be fascinated by the changes her body will make physically. She will be aware of the aches and pains that are normal while she grows life inside of her. She will understand the process of labor and know the calming strategies for when she delivers her precious baby.

Although, there are some things a woman will not ever be able to learn from parenting books or social media. There are facts surrounding vaginal birth that seem to be avoided by the general public. Nobody seems to want to discuss pooping on the table, how a woman’s vagina looks after birth, and hemorrhoids that are so big they deserve the second name choice you had for your new baby.

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Hemorrhoids…*shiver*

Hemorrhoids often begin to rear their ugly heads when a woman is pregnant. When she’s carrying a child in her body there’s a whole lotta pressure bearing down on her backside.These nasty hemorrhoids often loiter for a few months, making their presence vaguely known here and there. It’s typically not until she’s given birth that they make their grand entrance.

When a woman gives birth she gets to celebrate the life of her child. However, she must also grieve the death of her modesty. She just had the most exposed experience of her life as she pooped on the table (it ain’t no myth) moments before showcasing a baby coming out of her vagina through her splayed legs to the group of enthusiastic spectators. She felt confident explaining to the young student doctor that he, in fact, did not freeze her properly and that she could, in fact, feel him stitching her up. She has no problem taking off her nursing gown to put her baby to her breast in front of the room of visitors.

However, no words can describe the humiliation of having a well-intentioned nurse come to check up on the painful monster that has grown from her anus.   

Her pride and ego will heal quickly once she arrives home from the hospital, but the physical pain she’s feeling in her rear end will need some tending to.

Her doctor has recommended she get a medicated topical cream, but her partner, still in shock from what was seen in the delivery room, did not hear her request to go buy some. She is forced to take matters into her own hands and use things from around the house:

How a woman can heal her hemorrhoids

how to deal with hemorrhoids

-She sits on soft surfaces if and when she sits. That breastfeeding pillow she has is very multi-use.

-She drinks lots and lots of water.

-She tries to get plenty of rest.

-She eats highly fibrous foods in order to avoid constipation and keep things as smooth as possible.

-She took a lot of gear from the hospital when she left. Those uber-comfortable, uber-sexy mesh undies, mondo sized pads, and peri-bottles. She can use that to clean her entire nether region.

-She has a sitz bath whenever possible.

-She soaks a cloth in Witch Hazel and puts it between her bum cheeks to reduce swelling.

-She checks out Pinterest for other home remedies and assesses which ones would be suitable for her comfort level. A nice condom filled with ice cubes up the butt may work for some, but maybe not for her. 

She complains loudly because that provides the most relief possible and because she deserves to do that, dammit!

Due to the sensitive nature of the situation, it’s wise to be slightly cryptic in your advice to the new Mom in order to avoid embarrassment and possible hormonal outbursts from saying the wrong thing (this ain’t no myth either). Unless she explicitly shares what a pain in the butt childbirth was for her you won’t know for sure whether hemorrhoids is a condition that she’s currently suffering from. The pep talk she gives herself as she waddles into the bathroom is an indication, but it’s best not to assume.

Kindly suggest that she takes care of “yourselves” -”[her]selves” being her and her hemorrhoids. Bring her countless glasses of water while explaining that dehydration can cause fatigue (**this will work as a double positive: she will assume that your gesture implies she doesn’t appear fatigued. Go with this. Tell her how beautiful she is at the moment but don’t make eye contact with the bags under her eyes-she’ll figure out you’re lying). Bring her a food plate of dried figs, grapes, and bran muffins for “nourishment” purposes.

Whether or not you’ve had issues with massive growths on your rectum is beside the point. One can only begin to imagine the discomfort that they cause. Be secretly sympathetic while maintaining an element of smugness: you know darn well that this pain in her ass will be nothing compared to her sweet little baby when they grow into a teenager.

 

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Breastfeeding tips and tricks

You’re here for breastfeeding tips, but I need to share a quick story with you first:

Last week I answered the door. It was the pizza man. He looked…uncomfortable. I thought maybe I smelled bad? Maybe I had spit up on my shoulder? I closed the door. I looked down. I realized why he looked so…uncomfortable. My breast was hanging out of my shirt because I forgot to put it away after my baby was done feeding and I answered the door. As I stood there thinking about what had just transpired I couldn’t believe it…he forgot to give me the dips!

 

Breastfeeding has been a challenging journey for me.

Some women have no problem and have Pamela Anderson looking jugs full of milk even before they’ve had their baby. Some women go through hours of torture to literally squeeze out one drop.

The latter was me.

I spent hours researching ways to make me produce more milk (and help me fill out a D-cup). Here’s what I came up with:

Breastfeeding tips and tricks

 

Make sure you have a correct latch

This is the first breastfeeding tip and is the most crucial when you’re establishing breastfeeding and your milk supply. You want baby’s mouth to be covering your areola, not just your nipple. Jack Newman is my go-to guy when trying to help a client establish their latch and was my best friend when trying to establish mine (even the fourth go-round was a doozy for me- this is not always the easiest thing to do so try not to get discouraged if you don’t get it on your first few tries).

If you’re still having a hard time establishing an effective latch do make sure to go to your local public health unit or call a Lactation Consultant. They can offer you a wealth of information and a little more of a hands-on approach when it comes to getting that latch down pat.

Keep only one eye on the clock

It’s easy to get caught up in the “feed baby every _____ hours”, but it’s not quite that simple. The more you nurse the more milk you’re going to produce. If baby is showing cues of being hungry don’t deny them milk just because you’re not quite at the hour mark. That said, f you’re trying to establish your milk supply and baby is sleeping beyond those every couple of hours it’s fair to wake them up for a feed.

Try galactagogues

Not only is it a fun word to say, but some of them are very effective. The main ones are Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle but there are products out there that contain more herbs and are specific to breastfeeding. Check out your local health food store and chat with your midwife or doctor to see what they recommend.

The cookie recipe below containing Brewer’s Yeast was the galactagogue that worked best for me! This is by far my favourite breastfeeding tip as it is the most delicious!

lactation cookie recipe, breastfeeding, breastmilk production

**If you’re not feeling up to making cookies, simply add some brewers yeast to your smoothie. That’s the main ingredient that really helped me!

Skin to skin

Take off your shirt as much as possible. Get baby naked as much as possible. If you’re struggling to stay put in bed or on the couch throw the baby wrap on and put a naked (maybe leave the diaper on) baby inside. Voila! Portable skin to skin.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Or, better yet, have someone take care of you. Your postpartum doula or partner should be making sure that you are getting plenty of rest, sleeping as much as possible, eating nutritious foods, and drinking loads of water. Making sure that you’re hydrated is a major component of keeping your body healthy while you’re breastfeeding. Your baby is literally sucking the life out of you so it’s important to keep it restored at all times. While this is one of the most important breastfeeding tips it’s also the one that most folks struggle with the most.

 

I mentioned breastfeeding wasn’t easy for me, right? It was a hard go right from the beginning. When I was told by a doctor that “not all women were meant to be cows” I nearly gave up. Instead, I spent hours researching breastfeeding tips, spent days in discomfort (mastitis, thrush, engorgement, cracked and blistered nipples are no joke, friends), and months breastfeeding. I ended up breastfeeding for a total of 6 years. My breasts may never be the same (in other words, they may never look like they don’t appear in a copy of “National Geographic”), but my choice to breastfeed was the best one that I could have made for myself and my babies.

 

I want to hear your breastfeeding journey! Comment below and share your story!