Does childbirth give you a loose vagina?

You may or may not have heard of the “husband stitch” as a preventative measure for a loose vagina after childbirth.

If you have I can hear your “ugh…yes”. If you haven’t, allow me to explain:

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    After you have gone through hours of painful labor and pushed a massive child out of your vagina you may get to experience being stitched up in case you tore or had an episiotomy. A “husband stitch” takes this one step further and one extra stitch is given during the repair of the vaginal tissues after a tear or episiotomy to make sure that there’s no loose vagina as a result of bringing a child into the world.

    Now, this seems like it might be one of those wives tales like in this post, but according to many accounts of women who have experienced it, it is not. While it is not common practice it has been known to happen (mostly with consent from the woman-but not always).

    Your delicate vaginal opening has experienced frequent (?) penetration from something around 3” in diameter (or more. Listen, I’m not here to judge whatsoever. I thought I was fucked, BTW), and if you have a traumatic birth can all contribute to how stretched your vagina gets.

    For example, a person having their first uncomplicated vaginal birth at age 20 may experience a vaginal snap back easier than someone having their third baby with second-degree tears at age 30.

    That said, regardless of your situation, your elastic vagina will spring back to it’s pre-Good Goddess there’s a baby coming out of me-shape, it just may take a bit more time for some folks than others.

    What do I do about a vaginal laxity?

    Hey, just a heads up that I’m an affiliate for the links below. That means that if you purchase one of these courses I may receive a commission. It’ll be “tight” for the both of us! Fuck, I’m hilarious.

    The ol’ husband stitch isn’t the ideal way to fix a loose vagina in any way. in fact, it might be worthwhile to have that chat with your partner, midwife, or doctor to make it entirely clear that you and your vagina would appreciate sutures only up to where your natural vaginal opening begins.

    A bit of a shift in your pelvic floor is normal after you’ve had a baby but there are some preventative measures you can take while you’re pregnant to make sure that you don’t experience anything above and beyond a little bit of extra vaginal elasticity (think prolapse, extended urinary incontinence, painful intercourse).

    Pelvic floor physiotherapy is a corrective measure as well as a preventative measure. That means that you can take a proactive approach to your pelvic floor health now as you sit there in your pregnant glory so that you don’t have to do a more intensive therapy if you do end up needing extra support after you have vaginal childbirth.

    Your pelvic floor is a muscle that needs working out to keep strong. You spend time toning those quads….your pal Your Vagina needs the same TLC!

    Aside from knowing that you’ve got a buff muff (you can keep this info to yourself or share your accomplishment. Either way, you’ve got my mad respect) having a strong pelvic floor will help you with your labor as well as help you avoid issues that may arise in your pelvic floor as a result of childbirth.

    Have a conversation with your healthcare provider about what they recommend, but I highly suggest checking out The Vagina Coach. Not only is she straight up about pelvic floor health, but she offers some amazing courses that will help you get those pelvic floor muscles in tip-top shape for your labor.

    If you’ve already given birth and have been under the impression that you have a “loose vagina” you can find some courses through her that will help you regain elasticity to allow you to get back to things like running without peeing or increased sexual pleasure.

    From my personal experience (in case you didn’t click on the highlighted “I thought I was fucked” text-I talked about my four kids that I had vaginally) strengthening your pelvic floor is an absolute must-do during your pregnancy and as maintenance after your baby is born.

    weird things your baby might do

    Weird things babies do that are totally normal

    Babies do a lot of super cute things like that little bum curl when you pick them up out of bed, but there are also some weird things babies do…that are totally normal!

    It’s normal to analyze every little thing that your baby is doing and worry about whether or not the weird things babies do warrant a call to the midwife or doctor.

    While much of the time your instincts will let you know when something is going on there are some weird things babies do that you need to know about so you can worry a little less.

    Weird things babies do that are totally normal

    They might turn red when they poop

    It’s not like they just suddenly turn red when they’re pooping, but sometimes they’ll be working soooooo hard on getting a poop out that they’ll hold their breath and push and their little eyebrows will furrow and their foreheads will start to turn a shade of crimson.

    They may also go cross-eyed and make some grunting noises. While this may remind you of when you’re constipated your baby might not be. While sometimes they are, most often when they’re doing this little ritual it’s just one of the weird things babies do that are normal.

    They may have super loud poops

    You feel the rumbling as you hold them. You see those eyes crossing and that face reddening.

    Then, it sounds as if a bomb unleashed in your baby’s diaper.

    You immediately get up to find your partner so you can “go to the bathroom”, give them the baby, and scroll through your phone for half an hour assuming that they’ll have changed the poop bomb that exploded.

    While your attempts at sneaking in an out from diaper changing may have been successful, I hate to break it that it probably wasn’t that bad of a diaper after all.

    Baby poop is liquidy. It’s runny. It’s messy.

    However, often times that butt explosion has more bark than bite. Save the ol’ “hand off ’cause I gotta pee” until you see actual evidence of a nasty poop on that adorable onesie that never stood a chance.

    They’ll likely cluster feed

    Just like us, babies get grouchy.

    Just like us, babies want to lounge around, drink lots, demand attention, be entirely unpredictable, and eat a ton of chocolate.

    Okay, so I’m assuming they want to eat chocolate, but the rest I know for fact.

    Usually, in evenings, you’ll notice that your sweet baby becomes your angry baby. They want to feed constantly, they’ll only eat a little bit at a time before unlatching, they’ll squawk, they’ll fuss.

    You’ll start to question everything about the way you’re feeding your baby, but don’t fret.

    Cluster feeding is a weird thing babies do. If your baby seems fine during the rest of the day and doesn’t appear to be in pain during their cluster feeding period, it’s probably just their fussy time.

    It can be frustrating. Make sure that you have food prepared for yourself, don’t schedule anything in this time (it can often become a daily routine), and make sure to take a break whenever you can.

    They may get milk drunk

    After you’ve fed your baby they will go into a euphoric state. Their eyelids may flutter and only partially close and they may start smiling in their sleep.

    Nope, they’re not having a sweet dream (well, maybe they are), they’re sedated by the warm milk in their belly. Now’s your chance to go have a shower, Mama!

    They might move their skulls!

    Okay, so they’re not actually “moving their skulls” on their own, but you can see their skull pulsating, which is creepy and cool.

    Their fontanel, a.k.a their “soft spot” will pulse with their heartbeat which you can watch. Don’t worry, this won’t last forever. As their skull fuses together the sci-fi-like feature of your baby will disappear.

    They might have their period

    Now, doesn’t that sound alarming? While it would definitely be somewhat unnerving to find blood in your baby’s diaper it’s actually more common than you think!

    Some babies with a vagina may have a mini-period during the first week of their life as a result of maternal hormones surging their their bodies. Some babies with a penis might have what appears to be blood in their diapers but is actually uric acid crystals as their body adapts to a feeding routine.

    If either case persists for more than a week call your healthcare professional.

    They might be hairier than your Aunt Mildred

    There are a lot of weird things babies do that might be alarming, funny, or plain confusing. You need to know about the most common weird baby behaviors!

    Lanugo is fine hair that might cover parts of your baby or a lot of your baby. You may find that they are especially hairy on their backs or arms.

    Don’t worry…it’ll fall off! There’s no need to do anything with it as it will rub off naturally in time.

    They may seem startled all the time

    Your newborn is developing their reflexes and learning about their body. They’ll likely put their arms up if there’s a loud sound, you try to wake them, or you release them from a swaddle.

    Hiccup. Hiccup. Hiccup.

    Your baby is learning how to feed (and so are you!!). They’re likely getting a whole lot of air in their tiny bodies as they feed which results in hiccups. As they grow up they’ll grow out of these frequent hiccups.

    You’ll probably be saying “gesundheit” a lot

    Your baby is learning to adapt to the environment around them. There’s a lot to sneeze at! Don’t worry, this is one of those weird things that babies do that serves a purpose; they’re clearing out any amniotic fluid that might be in their sinuses!

    They may get acne

    Babies get all sorts of rashes, including “baby acne” which is completely harmless and not painful for your baby. It’ll look like little red and white bumps on their face, usually around the 3-week mark. Before you go running for the Noxema just give it some time. Your baby’s acne will go away on its own!

    While there are a number of weird things babies do you have to make sure you listen to your intuition. If you feel like the weird thing your baby is doing isn’t normal never hesitate to reach out to your healthcare provider and make sure that everything is A-OK!

    boredom buster things for new moms to do

    50 things for new moms to do

    So, you’re looking for things for new moms to do!

    Let’s face it. Babies are boring. I mean, they’re crazy cute, but really, all that they do is eat, sleep, and poop. It’s inevitable that eventually, you’re going to want to start doing some stuff other than stare at your precious baby and think to yourself: “How did that come out of my body??”

    This stuff I speak of might be things that have to do with motherhood or they might lie on the complete other end of the spectrum with things that has absolutely nothing to do with motherhood (even though, ultimately, you doing things that have absolutely nothing to do with motherhood will nourish your soul and make you a better mom, but you can read about how I feel on that subject in this post).

    When you’re ready to find some things for new moms to do while your baby happily eats, poops out what he eats, and dreams about what he eats here’s a handy list for you:

    50 things for new moms to do

    1. Give yourself a manicure or PEDICURE –because you can reach your toes again!
    2. Get really into a Netflix show
    3. Have a bath (if you’re able to do so)
    4. Do some online yoga (again, if you’re able to and have been cleared by your healthcare professional)
    5. Look up recipes on Pinterest
    6. Try some of the recipes that you’ve found, despite how fun it is to sit and “pin” all day:)
    7. CALL A FRIEND on video chat with a funny filter
    8. Make a keepsake box of your baby’s things
    9. Dance in your underwear
    10. Wash your hair. Yes, I know it’s been a while…that’s why I’m suggesting it.
    11. Organize your clothes and only keep stuff out that fits you and you’re comfortable in
    12. Start a bullet journal
    13. Do a craft-probably something you’ve found on Pinterest
    14. Start your baby book
    15. Do some laundry. Blech, I know. You’ll feel better when Mt. Neverendingpileoflaundry is no longer, though.
    16. Start a garden. Your baby can sleep outside in the playpen or even on a blanket while you put your green thumb to use
    17. Learn how to wear a stretchy baby wrap. It will save your life.
    18. Take a course online.
    19. Read a book. Something that will prepare you for what’s to come….like this one about what your 3-year-old will inevitably be like…
    20. Find some awesome websites to follow. **AHEM**
    21. Go for a walk.
    22. Go online and find a new mom friend in a Facebook group
    23. Make yourself a fancy coffee.
    24. Start a blog
    25. Do some online shopping!
    26. Have a picnic in your backyard
    27. Plan an at-home date night for you and your partner
    28. Lady…take a nap!
    29. Get dressed up. For you. Hot Mama!
    30. Meditate.
    31. Order some food from a local restaurant that you haven’t tried yet.
    32. Make a vision board.
    33. Organize your baby’s clothes
    34. Plant some flowers.
    35. Suntan in the backyard (avoid nude tanning if you have neighbors…or don’t-no judgment here!)
    36. Write out your whole birth story.
    37. Rearrange your furniture
    38. Make diaper changing stations-a basket filled with everything you need for diaper changes in different rooms in your house
    39. Write a letter!
    40. Design a tattoo (and book the darn appointment)
    41. Try learning a new language
    42. Take a drive somewhere.
    43. Do an at-home workout (if you’re okay to do it as per your midwife or doctor’s advice)
    44. Wax your legs. **I am not held accountable for any pain that may come from this.
    45. Re-do a piece of furniture
    46. Clean the cat’s litter box. I’m sure you missed doing it when you were pregnant? JUST KIDDING! New moms shouldn’t clean the cat litter box (just kidding…but you can let your significant other know that you read it on Facebook so it’s gotta be true…)
    47. Do your makeup. Learn a new eye shadow thingy (nope, don’t ask me. I clearly have no idea).
    48. Dance! Not “pre-baby, I’m at a bar” dance, but “I’m a Mom now so I have to Mom dance because it’s the coolest” dance.
    49. Start a scrapbook or photo album
    50. Do a photo shoot with your baby (while you still can and they don’t roll their eyes and say “I am NOT doing that, Mom.”
    Things you shouldn't do when you're pregnant

    5 things you shouldn’t do when you’re pregnant

    Alrighty, I’m not here to be a Debbie Downer, but we need to talk about some things that you shouldn’t do when you’re pregnant.

    There are certain things that you shouldn’t do when you’re pregnant that are commonly known:

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      -Don’t drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, or use drugs

      -Don’t clean the cat litter box (oh, shucks, eh??)

      -Don’t use heavily chemicaled products

      That’s a pretty vague list that you’re going to have to talk to your healthcare provider about in more detail because I’m here to talk about the LESS known things you shouldn’t do when you’re pregnant.

      These are things that I was guilty of in at least one of my pregnancies and have seen occur frequently, and I’m sharing them with you so that you can avoid the same mistakes!

      5 things you shouldn’t do when you’re pregnant

      1. Don’t listen to every one’s birth stories.

      You’re going to be bombarded with well-intentioned Mamas who want to re-live their birth experience and “help” you by sharing it with you.

      The problem? Some people have some scary-ass, intense birth stories that you probably don’t want to hear. While a good portion of the time birth stories go as planned without any issues or blips there are those that go completely sideways. Those are always the ones you hear about.

      It can be helpful to hear about other people’s experiences, but it might be worthwhile to stipulate the exact part that you want to hear before asking for your friend’s account of her birth story. For example, if you’re wondering what pain relief techniques she implemented during her labor you can ask her specifically to share that information.

      Also, feel free to let people know that you don’t want to hear their story! If it’s not going to benefit you (and actually might cause distress) you can kindly explain that you’d rather refrain from hearing personal accounts right now and that you’re sticking to having discussions with your healthcare provider about your labor and delivery.

      2. Don’t watch Hollywood blockbusters

      Her water breaks (in the shower, obviously). She immediately has contractions. Her husband drives her to the hospital. She goes through the lobby in a wheelchair. She is wheeled into her huge, private room. She curses angrily at her husband as she transitions. She pushes when the doctor shows up and instructs her to do so as she lays on her back with her feet in stirrups. She gets her clean baby on her chest and enjoys a body fluid free bed.

      This is not what typical birth looks like. Don’t get me wrong, it can certainly look this way, however, an “average” birth is so varied that there isn’t one way to really look at it.

      Your birth will be your birth. Watching these big screen renditions of what that looks like will put ideas and comparisons in your mind that you really don’t need! You definitely still need to prepare, but we’ll talk about how to do that productively in the next point.

      3. Don’t under prepare

      There are some common known things you shouldn't do while you're pregnant, but do you know about these less common things?

      This is a tricky one. On one hand you don’t want to overwhelm yourself with ALL THE THINGS you need to know about your pregnancy, birth, and newborn, but on the other hand, it’s not good to be left in the dark, either.

      Oh, balance.

      It might seem like everything will come naturally to you and for the most part it will. However, we’ve got the information out there to help you get ready for ALL THE THINGS so why not take advantage of it?

      **Pro tip: Learning about your body’s response during labor will help your pain. Knowing what your body is doing and what stage your baby is at in the birthing process will help you be able to predict what’s coming next.

      4. Don’t get sedentary

      Oh Mama, I know it’s tempting to lay on the couch and veg out and eat the Oreos that your baby is demanding, but you’re truly doing yourself a disservice.

      Living a healthy lifestyle is a good idea at the best of times, but especially when you’re pregnant. It’s definitely important to rest but it’s just as important to keep your body moving! Listen to what your body is saying!

      Make sure to talk to your healthcare provider about what exercise is appropriate for your unique situation, but things like walking and yoga (this lady is my favorite!!)are generally pretty safe for most people. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle will keep your body nice and flexible for your birth and postpartum recovery!

      5. Don’t eat for two

      Ugh. I know, I know. After I just talked about the Oreos…

      Take it from me; you don’t want to overeat. When I got pregnant with my first I ate ALL THE THINGS. I ended up gaining way more than the average amount. You actually don’t need to increase your caloric intake when you’re pregnant. You need to increase it a bit when you’re breastfeeding, but until then try to keep the Oreos to being a treat instead of breakfast;)

      What else can you add to this list of things you shouldn’t do when you’re pregnant?

      feel great during pregnancy

      Ways to feel great during pregnancy

      There are some folks who are absolutely blessed and feel great during pregnancy, and there are some who spend their entire pregnancy close to a toilet, swollen, emotional and

      If you find yourself in the latter description there are a few things that you can do to feel great during pregnancy.

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        Pregnancy really is pretty incredible. You’re growing life! You get to experience some fascinating changes in your body and experience your baby’s first kicks and hiccups; memories that will truly last you forever.

        Let’s help you feel great.

        Ways to feel great during pregnancy

        “We are a participant in affiliate advertising programs designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to affiliated sites.”


        This is something to talk to your midwife or doctor before you start, but generally, most folks are safe to exercise during pregnancy.

        Safe exercise during pregnancy ranges from walking to yoga to running to weightlifting to dancing.

        Exercise will release endorphins that will help elevate your mood while getting your body healthy and in shape for when you go into labor (and before and after, of course). In fact, exercise has been thought to reduce your labor time! If that doesn’t motivate you….I don’t know what will!

        Eat well and hydrate

        When you’re feeling nauseated you likely don’t feel like eating big meals. Try eating small meals every 2 hours or so. Make sure that you’re getting a healthy balance of whole foods, but also make sure that you’re giving into those cravings occasionally -escargot and a chocolate milkshake provide some nutritional value, right?

        It’s easy to think: “Well, I’m getting bigger anyway, I can eat whatever I want”. Just remember that the food that you’re likely to indulge in likely won’t make you feel great during pregnancy and you may experience more swelling and bloating in your already shifting body.

        Pamper yourself

        You know it. I know it. You can’t reach your toes. Go have someone paint them!

        If painted toenails aren’t your thing there are some other ways you can:

        -Get yourself a nice outfit that fits your bump and that you feel awesome in. There are some super cute ideas here.

        Get a subscription box. Bump Box is a great option to get a box of good that will come in handy while making you feel great during pregnancy and postpartum, as well as for your new baby and for Daddy!

        -Love your changing body. Check out your curves, Mama. Watch your baby kick or your bump jiggle as they hiccup. Your body is amazing. Let it know that!

        No matter which trimester you're in there are some ways you can feel great during pregnancy. What would you add to this list?

        Have sex

        Ooooh ya. You might find that there are times when your body and mind say “absolutely not” but when you’re feeling up to it make sure to get on it, girl!

        Sex during pregnancy is generally safe unless your midwife or doctor has advised against it. Having sex can feel great during pregnancy but it can also be a little uncomfortable, depending on where you’re at in your pregnancy.

        Make sure that you communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling and try new positions to accommodate your growing belly. You can read more about sex during pregnancy in this post.

        Take your prenatal vitamins and Folic Acid

        The prenatal vitamins will make sure that you’re getting the vitamins and minerals you need to take care of your body while the folic acid makes sure your baby is developing properly.

        If you’re feeling nauseated ask your midwife or doctor about vitamin B6. Also, try taking your prenatal vitamin at night. The iron in it can often cause pregnant folks to feel sick, so taking it at night can alleviate some of the sickness you feel during the day.


        I know. You just scoffed at that a bit. You’re all like: “But….the co-sleeper needs to be put in place” and “But…I need to clean the baseboards with a toothbrush” (hello nesting), but actually resting is good for you. Your body is under a lot more stress than when you’re not pregnant and you need to listen to it!

        Try and find a balance between keeping your body moving and keeping it resting.

        What else would you add to this list of ways to feel great during pregnancy?

        sex during pregnancy

        Can you have sex during pregnancy?

        Sex during pregnancy:

        First trimester

        “Not tonight. I’m exhausted, my boobs are sore, and I might throw up on you. Also, you might hit the baby with that thing.”

        Second trimester

        “Yes tonight! And every night! I feel great! I’m sexy as hell and my hormones are SO into this. Except, you might hit the baby with that thing.”

        Third trimester

        “Not tonight. I’m exhausted, my boobs are leaking, and I don’t know what to do with this belly. Also, you might hit the baby with that thing.”

        Okay, so sex during pregnancy. You may (or may not) feel like having sex while you experience some pretty darn significant shifts in all aspects of your life, but should you do it?

        Can you have sex during pregnancy?

        Yes! For most folks who are pregnant having sex is not an issue at all. However, you’re going to have to talk to your healthcare provider before doing the deed to make sure that it’s safe for your individual situation. Some risk factors for sex during pregnancy include:

        -history of premature labor

        -if your cervix has opened prematurely

        -placenta previa

        -unexplained vaginal bleeding or amniotic leaking

        -if your waters have ruptured

        Alright! You’ve got the go-ahead from your midwife or doctor.

        Now what?

        You may have had sex to get pregnant, but can you continue to have sex during pregnancy? Check out what you need to know here!

        As mentioned before, there can be quite a shift in how you’re feeling throughout your pregnancy. You’re experiencing all sorts of newness; vaginal discharge you’ve never seen before, tender breasts, a growing belly, swollen vagina, cankles, an aching back….shall I go on??

        Now’s the time to be very communicative with your partner so that they can understand why exactly you’re not in the mood or why it is that you’re absolutely a ravenous sexual beast. A mixture of how you’re feeling physically and hormones will dictate how you feel about sex throughout your pregnancy.

        The second trimester is often a time when you reap the benefits of sex. You’re likely past the “morning” sickness phase and you’re not yet in the “WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS MASSIVE BELLY DURING SEX?” phase.

        When you do feel like it make sure you’re getting all your kicks in (with your partner or on your own). You might find that orgasms are easier to achieve when you have sex during pregnancy as your genitals become more sensitive.

        You have increased blood flow going into your vagina, vulva, clitoris, and pelvic when you’re pregnant. For some, this is well-received and put to good use. For others, it can be uncomfortable. Don’t forget that either way you may experience a shift as your pregnancy changes your body and hormones day-to-day.

        You may also find that you’re lubricating a fair bit more than normal. While this is super rad you might want to keep that bottle of lube you do have on hand for when you’re ready for sex after your baby is born (’cause you’re most likely going to need it then)!

        But, what about the baby?

        Your baby is in the squishiest of all squishy places up there in your womb. They’re surrounded by amniotic fluid and vaginal walls and are fully protected from whatever your partner’s got (or whatever you’ve got).

        There is fear that having sex during pregnancy might cause miscarriage. This article states that it does not, and also doesn’t cause premature labor.

        One thing that consistently comes up when sex during pregnancy is talked about is how you’re not supposed to blow air into a woman’s vagina while she is pregnant. It can cause an embolism and possibly be fatal to the baby and the pregnant woman.

        I personally have never had air blown into my vagina, nor do I know anyone who has, but if this is your thing maybe avoid it until you’re no longer pregnant (oh my Goddess, if you do have experience with air blown into your vagina can you please email I’ve been trying to figure out why one would enjoy this and would LOVE to hear your reasons).

        As always, keep an eye out for anything that’s concerning to you during your pregnancy. If you’re experiencing more discomfort than you think is typical or if you have persistent bleeding you need to see your midwife or doctor. Also, make sure that you have a conversation with your midwife or doctor regarding sex if you have any complications whatsoever in your pregnancy to determine if it’s safe for you to have sex during pregnancy.