rules of motherhood

How to be a good Mom

In my time as a mother I have done a lot of learning. Some of the lessons have come easily, while some have taken a little more  time to understand.  Of all the things I have learned over time, these are the ones that have resonated with me and have helped me be a good mom:

*Make-up can help you look less tired.

*You will forget all the chaos and frustrations of the day when you look at your sleeping children.

*Your best is good enough. Your love is all they really need.

*Wine helps.

*Swearing doesn’t make you a bad mother.

*Taking a break from your children doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It just means you love yourself, too.

It’s the one we all seem to have difficulty with, yet it is the most important thing to remember to make sure we can be a good mom.

As mothers, we give. We give our bodies, minds, and souls to our children. We do everything in our power to make sure that they are physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy,  that they’re educated, rested, and experiencing opportunities to find themselves so they can develop their unique personalities. We sacrifice things we want and need so that they can have what they want and need. Our desires get pushed to the backburner. We lose ourselves in the world of motherhood by giving 100% of ourselves to our children, and we seem to forget that there is still “you” underneath our identity as a mother.

We love our children. This is evident in the way in which we treat them. When was the last time you gave yourself the same treatment?

How to be a good mom

Mama, you need to take care of your body. Sure, cleaning the house and carrying children keeps you moving, but you need to elevate that heart rate. Do cardio. Do yoga.  Eat proper, healthy meals. You wouldn’t let your children skip lunch so they could tidy the house, and they would certainly never be allowed to fill the void in their bellies with a third cup of coffee. Sleep. Shower. Paint your nails.

Do you wonder how to be a good mom? You keep trying to do more for your children but never feel like you're doing enough. What if you gave this a try?

Mama, you need to take care of your mind. Read. Write in a journal. Meditate. Allow yourself the quiet time you need to be able to accomplish this. Send the kids outside or to watch a movie. Ignore the mess. Put on your favourite song and let go. Sing. Dance. Do a crossword. Learn how to make kombucha. Create.

Mama. Your soul. Take care of your soul.  Do whatever it is that brings you joy. Knit. Climb mountains. Volunteer. Think about the things that make up “you” other than being a mother, and embrace them. Don’t let them fall into the abyss of the chaos of life. When your children are less dependent on your care you will be able to regain your individualism. Don’t let that be a struggle. Maintain your relationship with “you” so “you” can flourish when the opportunity arises. Thank yourself. Tell yourself what a great job you’re doing. Buy yourself flowers.

Mama, you MUST do this.

So many of us are running on an empty tank, or even on fumes. It doesn’t take long for that tank to become depleted. You need fuel. Premium fuel. Taking good care of your children requires you to have energy, imagination, and patience. You simply cannot accomplish this if you, yourself is not filled up.

Motherhood involves teaching your children by example. Your children are aware of what you are doing for them. They are aware of the countless hours you put into ensuring they are cared for. They’re also aware of the bags under your eyes and the exhaustion in your voice. You are teaching them the importance of taking care of others. Give them the opportunity to understand the importance of taking care of themselves, as well.  Taking good care of your children begins with taking good care of yourself.

Mama, you are amazing.

You love your children.

Don’t forget to love yourself, too…it’s the best way that you can be a good mom.

 

parenting articles you'll want to read

Parenting articles you’ll WANT to read!

We’ve all encountered parenting articles.

They’re on social media, on the news, in magazines and the newspaper:

“THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO PARENT” articles, written by Dr. Iknoweverythingaboutkidsbutdontactuallyhaveany.

They are filled with “current and updated” information that contradicts everything you currently do as a parent and make you feel like the shittiest parent on earth.

I used to read these parenting articles until one day I clicked on a link to the “50 things NEVER to say to your child”.  By the time I reached #38 I realized I had said every single one of those things at some point or another. I then proceeded to spend the next 2 weeks feeling guilty over the inevitable irreversible damage that I’d done to my children’s psyches.

I now avoid these articles like they’re alcohol-free playdates. Instead, I focus on my attention looking for things that empower me and affirm my fantastic parenting skills.

Parenting articles you want to read!

There are some parenting articles that aren't worth your while. These are not those parenting articles! You're going to want to read these!

“TOP 10 WAYS TO DISCREETLY DAY DRINK”

From stainless “coffee mugs” to a flask in your nursing bra that you’ve been wearing since you stopped breastfeeding 4 years ago. As long as you can maintain a consistent, healthy buzz and not slur your profanities no one will ever think booze is your preferred method of keeping your shit together.

“STEPS TO GET YOUR KIDS TO HAPPILY EAT A HEALTHY MEAL”

Forgetting threatening and fighting with them. All you need to do is bribe them with bacon and a little candy!

“SANCTIMOMMY AWARENESS”

Surefire ways to spot these bitches before they make it within a 1-kilometer radius of you and your little angels. You know, the ones you’re currently screaming at while feeding them fast food and non-organic powdered sugar doughnuts while they sit in front of the t.v. watching “Orange is the New Black” for the sixth hour in a row.

“WHICH WINE SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TONIGHT?”

Life’s full of tough decisions. This handy quiz will help with those extra challenging choices.

”BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THE HOUSE FOR YOUR CHOCOLATE STASH”

A list of Mom-approved spots that your little mooches wouldn’t even think to look, like the cleaning supply drawer or anywhere near the washing machine. *Bonus–these spots are also husband proof!

“HOW TO KINDLY RESPOND TO COMMENTS ON YOUR HOUSEKEEPING”

Telling Judgy McJudgy Face to “fuck off” while slapping a nice big smile on your face is no longer your only option!

“SEX AFTER KIDS: CLEAN THE HOUSE, PACK LUNCHES, SHOWER, CHECK YOUR E-MAILS, FEED THE DOG, LOCK THE DOOR AND THEN FOLLOW THESE TIPS FOR A WILDLY QUIET, POSSIBLY INTERRUPTED SHAG”

Rekindling a faded sex life has never been easier than now! Following these simple tips could lead to THREE sexy encounters, which is double what you got last month! If you’re lucky you may even get to give some sexy parent specific sex positions a try!

 

Parenting articles like these are hard to find. Please join me at the park so we can scour the internet for them on our phones and ignore our children while they play.