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Once upon a time, women worked together. They complained about their partners together (some things are timeless). They grew food together. They raised their children together.

Once upon a time, women shared feelings together. They grieved together. They anticipated together. They protested together. They celebrated together.

Once upon a time, women built each other up. They helped each other grow. The gave each other encouragement. They showed each other love.

Once upon a time, women created their village.

Today, our society is filled with women who challenge one another. They compete. They compare. They are not united.

They are missing out.

Finding a village is the most empowering thing a woman can do for herself, especially when she is a mother. Surrounding herself with other women experiencing the same spectrum of emotions gives her confidence. It allows her to feel fully understood. It helps her learn and flourish. During the times she needs to be supported, whether she needs a shoulder to cry on or someone to watch her children, she has her village to help her. This is unachievable alone. In order to maintain a healthy journey through motherhood, a woman needs a solid foundation of people who will lift her. Motherhood is an incredibly challenging job and one that shouldn’t and doesn’t need to be accomplished alone.

There is something magical about being surrounded by a village. Women are a fierce and strong force. Their energy is undeniable. A village can bring a woman from a dark, low place and set her soaring. She can be liberated from her feelings of depression and isolation; feelings that are sometimes involved in motherhood.  She is better for this. Her village is better for this. Her children are better for this. Her children will benefit, not only from having their mother in a state of fulfillment and capability but also from witnessing the powerful effect of women uniting. Her children will learn and gain experiences from members of the village, each of whom brings something to the group.

A mother will do everything in their power to ensure that their children are getting the best life possible. She will work incredibly hard to make sure her child has the best clothing, food, house, education, and entertainment that she can provide. She would walk the ends of the earth to have happy children.

She doesn’t have to.

The secret to raising happy children is in the village they are raised with. By allowing herself to collaborate with a like-minded group, a woman opens herself up to an opportunity for happiness within her child and herself. The bonds she will build and the memories she will create with the other members of her village will leave a lifelong impression on her own personal growth and development, as well as the person her child grows to be. It takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to raise a mother.

Mothers, raise yourself, to raise your child.

Find your village.

Hey! Just an FYI that I will receive compensation if you click on one of these links. It’s a pretty neato deal, really-you’re getting a great product that I personally endorse and I’m getting a bit of extra dough so I can buy the programs I need to lose my extra dough (particularly around the hips). Thanks in advance!

Once upon a time there was a specific idea of what beautiful was: skinny, blonde, skinny, tanned, skinny.

That seems to have shifted over the past few years. There are numerous campaigns from major companies encouraging women to love and embrace their bodies. Average sized women run in advertisements. Normal is the new norm.

Fantastic!

Women should love and embrace their bodies. Our bodies go through A LOT. From the time we hit puberty and experience the physical discomfort of our menses, to growing life inside of our womb and bringing that life earthside, to when our bodies transition into menopause, our bodies are constantly enduring awesome transformations.

My body experienced massive change 4 times. 4 babies grew inside of this body, and for that I am forever grateful. With my first pregnancy, I gained 65 pounds. I lost a portion of that, but never went down to my pre-pregnancy weight. After our second and third pregnancies I continued to carry the extra weight that I didn’t shed after my first.

Now, after my fourth (AND LAST) pregnancy, I find myself trapped in this state of discomfort with my body and the extra weight that I still have. I  do try every single day to embrace my image and not relay my insecurities to my four daughters who are watching me. They see, though. They see the frustration in my eyes as I try on my fifth outfit of the morning. They see the clothes I’ve put in the closet labeled “Don’t Fit”. They see my discontentment.

As much as I want my babies to love their bodies, I also want to inspire them to change what they don’t like about themselves to make them as confident as they can be.

So, I led by example.

A woman who I went to high school with had recently become a Beach Body coach. I saw photos of her transformation and read about her fitness goals, and decided to contact her and see if there were any tips she could give me.

By the end of our conversation I was convinced to sign up for the 21 Day Fix Extreme nutrition and exercise challenge. There was a Facebook page of all of the women involved in the challenge so we could stay accountable to each other, keep on track, offer encouragement, and learn from what everyone else was doing. Most importantly, I didn’t have to step foot in the gym-which can be really complicated when you have kids!

I was given a guide to portion control by using labeled containers for each food type and a record sheet to account for what I was eating. Within the first few days of following the guidelines I realized how much I was overeating. After a week of eating as per the guideline I realized how much less food I could fuel my body with and became so much more conscious of what I was putting in my body to accumulate the calories I needed to have enough energy to keep up with my little gals.

I was also introduced to 7 different workouts that were half an hour a day and from the comfort of your own home. That doesn’t sound like a long time, right? I strapped on a maxi pad (welcome to exercise after vaginal birth, ladies) and gave it a go.

Me, after the longest half hour of my damn life.

Now, my last labor was half an hour long and I truly think it was easier than the workout I did. Every muscle in my body ached. It hurt to go up the stairs. It hurt to lift up my toddler. It hurt…but I felt amazing. The pain eventually disappeared and the workouts got easier as I got stronger. I needed a few basic things (some weights and a resistance band) but these workouts required nothing like the equipment you would find at the gym.

Within 5 days of sticking with this plan I lost 5 pounds! 5 POUNDS! I wore pants with a button AND a smile. I hadn’t done that for quite some time.

That taste of accomplishment gave me the motivation to carry on. I was that much closer to my goal of reaching the level of fitness I wanted to have and the physical state I desired.

I included my girls in the workouts. I fed them what I was eating ,which was anything I wanted, within reason (even wine, y’all!!) but in portions that were customized to what my body type and level of activity required. When they asked why I was eating out of containers and always sweaty I told them it was so I could feel better about myself. I also told them they didn’t need to look a certain way to be confident, but they did need to feel good in their skin.

By the end of the 21 days on the 21 Day Fix EXTREME program (which, by the way, is only one of the many home workouts that BeachBody offers) I felt SO good. I lost 6 lbs and 2 inches but gained a lot of strength. I also gained a lot of confidence in my ability to change the things I wanted to while doing something for ME!

If you’re thinking of doing something for YOU I highly recommend these programs! Don’t worry about going to the gym for a pass-you can do this all in the comfort of your own home! Heck, you could do it naked if you wanted!! (Please let me know if you do that because that is really awesome!!)