Sex during pregnancy:
“Not tonight. I’m exhausted, my boobs are sore, and I might throw up on you. Also, you might hit the baby with that thing.”
“Yes tonight! And every night! I feel great! I’m sexy as hell and my hormones are SO into this. Except, you might hit the baby with that thing.”
“Not tonight. I’m exhausted, my boobs are leaking, and I don’t know what to do with this belly. Also, you might hit the baby with that thing.”
Okay, so sex during pregnancy. You may (or may not) feel like having sex while you experience some pretty darn significant shifts in all aspects of your life, but should you do it?
Can you have sex during pregnancy?
Yes! For most folks who are pregnant having sex is not an issue at all. However, you’re going to have to talk to your healthcare provider before doing the deed to make sure that it’s safe for your individual situation. Some risk factors for sex during pregnancy include:
-history of premature labor
-if your cervix has opened prematurely
-unexplained vaginal bleeding or amniotic leaking
-if your waters have ruptured
Alright! You’ve got the go-ahead from your midwife or doctor.
As mentioned before, there can be quite a shift in how you’re feeling throughout your pregnancy. You’re experiencing all sorts of newness; vaginal discharge you’ve never seen before, tender breasts, a growing belly, swollen vagina, cankles, an aching back….shall I go on??
Now’s the time to be very communicative with your partner so that they can understand why exactly you’re not in the mood or why it is that you’re absolutely a ravenous sexual beast. A mixture of how you’re feeling physically and hormones will dictate how you feel about sex throughout your pregnancy.
The second trimester is often a time when you reap the benefits of sex. You’re likely past the “morning” sickness phase and you’re not yet in the “WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS MASSIVE BELLY DURING SEX?” phase.
When you do feel like it make sure you’re getting all your kicks in (with your partner or on your own). You might find that orgasms are easier to achieve when you have sex during pregnancy as your genitals become more sensitive.
You have increased blood flow going into your vagina, vulva, clitoris, and pelvic when you’re pregnant. For some, this is well-received and put to good use. For others, it can be uncomfortable. Don’t forget that either way you may experience a shift as your pregnancy changes your body and hormones day-to-day.
You may also find that you’re lubricating a fair bit more than normal. While this is super rad you might want to keep that bottle of lube you do have on hand for when you’re ready for sex after your baby is born (’cause you’re most likely going to need it then)!
But, what about the baby?
Your baby is in the squishiest of all squishy places up there in your womb. They’re surrounded by amniotic fluid and vaginal walls and are fully protected from whatever your partner’s got (or whatever you’ve got).
There is fear that having sex during pregnancy might cause miscarriage. This article states that it does not, and also doesn’t cause premature labor.
One thing that consistently comes up when sex during pregnancy is talked about is how you’re not supposed to blow air into a woman’s vagina while she is pregnant. It can cause an embolism and possibly be fatal to the baby and the pregnant woman.
I personally have never had air blown into my vagina, nor do I know anyone who has, but if this is your thing maybe avoid it until you’re no longer pregnant (oh my Goddess, if you do have experience with air blown into your vagina can you please email firstname.lastname@example.org? I’ve been trying to figure out why one would enjoy this and would LOVE to hear your reasons).
As always, keep an eye out for anything that’s concerning to you during your pregnancy. If you’re experiencing more discomfort than you think is typical or if you have persistent bleeding you need to see your midwife or doctor. Also, make sure that you have a conversation with your midwife or doctor regarding sex if you have any complications whatsoever in your pregnancy to determine if it’s safe for you to have sex during pregnancy.