weird mom behavior

5 Weird Mom behaviors explained

Everyone does a little bit of judging. When something is out of the norm that doesn’t have an obvious reason behind it assumptions get made.

Do you know what assumptions do? They make you look like a huge dick.

Sometimes moms act a little unusual. This can be due to a number of different reasons. While it’s easy enough to make assumptions, there’s typically a perfectly logical explanation as to why she’s behaving so bizarrely.


Weird Mom behavior #1:

Mom snaps and yells “BECAUSE IT IS!!!!!” at her sweet 3 year-old for simple asking “why” at the grocery store.

Perfectly logical explanation:

Mom’s been extremely tolerant of her sweet 3 year-olds incessant need to ask “why” for 4 straight days. Mom’s been giving her thoughtful answers to her repeated question for 4 straight days. Mom hasn’t gotten a break from her sweet, questioning 3 year-old for 4 straight days. Mom hit her breaking point at the store. Mom will calm down (after a quick trip to the wine store) and resume her duties as patient 3 year-old question answerer in a jiffy.


Weird Mom behavior #2:

The remote was found in the fridge after hours of searching for it.

Perfectly logical explanation:

Mom’s fucking exhausted!!! She could commit a crime in a foreign country, and their no-sleep method of torturing her wouldn’t even phase her. If you’ve ever been sleep deprived you know that it can do some funny things to our brains, and cause us to do weird shit; like put the remote in the refrigerator. Do you know what else sleep deprivation can cause? Throat punching. Don’t make fun of her mishap. Don’t even mention it. Kindly guide her to her bed where she can have a much needed nap. Once she is asleep you can quietly scour the fridge for everything else that’s missing. Don’t forget the crisper drawer.

Weird Mom behavior #3:

Mom’s wearing 2 different shoes, only has half her hair in a bun, has some sort of sticky, white substance on her shoulder, is flaunting dirty sweatpants, and isn’t wearing a bra.

Perfectly logical explanation:

Mom’s a vixen, and don’t you think for a second she isn’t. 2 different shoes? See “the effects of sleep deprivation” above. Half her hair in a bun? She had a perfectly coiffed do before the baby grabbed hold of it and took half of it out. Sticky white substance on her shoulder? Get your mind out of the gutter, sicko. That’s spit up. Flaunting dirty sweatpants and no bra? Here’s the deal. She spent the majority of her day washing laundry yesterday but folding Mt. Hugeasspileoflaundry was a little more than she could handle. She did manage, however, to find her “If you can read this, get me a glass of wine” socks and is wearing them proudly. Hint, hint.

If you can read this bring me a glass of wine

Weird mom behavior #4:

There’s a fridge full of groceries purchased today, yet Mom is ordering pizza for dinner.

Perfectly logical explanation:

Mom did 4 hours of grocery shopping, not including the preliminary 2 hours of coupon cutting and cost comparing. She dealt with long line ups and dirty looks from people directly staring at the sticky white substance on her shoulder. Once she got home she was under constant demand to feed small people “SNAAAAAAAAAAACKS” until she “gets” to settle into making dinner. By this time she can’t stomach the idea of any more food that has been prepared by her. Fortunately, the local pizza joint is on her emergency contact list.


Weird Mom behavior #5:

Mom opens the door to your 10 a.m. scheduled playdate with a can of beer in her hand.

Perfectly logical explanation:


That is all.


Moms are loving, caring, selfless, and kind.

Most of the time.

If you see a Mom acting a tad out of the norm make sure to give her the benefit of the doubt and keep your assumptions to yourself; nobody likes a dick!


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