There is nothing worse than no wine, especially when you really need it ( which is always). A day taking care of kids often ends in celebration or exasperation and you need to ensure that you’re prepared for all situations. This handy little quiz will help you determine your upcoming needs and make sure that EVERYONE (you) is happy:
1. This morning, you woke up:
a) Before the kids. You enjoyed some yoga and a hot cup of coffee by yourself.
b) Squished in the 8” allotment that all the kids (and the dog) have allowed for you in your bed.
c) Drenched in urine that’s not yours…
2. How much sleep did you get last night?
a) 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep
b) 8 hours, collectively.
c) Did you just say “sleep”? Don’t ever speak that word in my presence again.
3. You got the kids to school:
a) With lunches packed, teeth brushed, wearing clean clothes, and on time.
b) A few minutes late with breakfast in a bag.
4.The state of your house can be described as:
a) Tidy and presentable.
b) Definitely “lived in” by kids (and a dog).
c) Shit. Storm.
5. Today you looked:
a) Like a hot mama! Your hair is done, you’re wearing pants with a button, and there are no stains on your clothes.
b) Like a hot mama! Yoga pants, a hoody, and no bodily fluids on your outfit. Well done!
c) Like a hot mama! Pajama pants, no bra, and dried cereal in your hair.
6. By 2 p.m. you had eaten:
a) Two healthy, balanced meals with ingredients from the local farmer’s market I stopped at after school drop off.
b) The scrapings off my toddler’s lunch plate and anything she said “NO” to (so, everything)
c) Remember that dried cereal in my hair?
7. Coffee is life sustaining goodness. How many cups did you have today?
a) Just 1. That was all I needed to get going this morning!
b) 2.5. I certainly was in need of a second jolt mid-afternoon.
c) I-I-I t-t-think I-I-I l-l-lost t-t-track. A-a-are y-y-you g-g-guys s-s-shaking, t-t-too??
8. Your to-do list is a mile long. Today you accomplished:
a) Absolutely everything! Plus, I got an extra workout and a shower in!
b) A few of the more important things, like folding Mt. Massivepileoflaundry.
c) Crumpling said to-do list up and putting it in the pocket of my super skinny jeans where it will not be seen for a very long while.
9. For dinner, you’re planned:
a) Roast chicken with all the fixings and a pie for dessert.
b) Whatever special the local pizza joint was offering.
c) Damn it…I forgot I had to feed these people.
10. At bedtime, your kids:
a) Went down as soon as their heads hit their pillows. They’re so angelic when they sleep.
b) Only got 12 glasses of water after lights out, but eventually passed out.
c) Fuck. Just…fuck.