Dealing with a tantruming toddler is as high on my list of favorite things to do as my PAP smear is. Not a good time. At all.
Due to the unpredictable nature of these feisty little people it’s not always easy to avoid a flailing meltdown (theirs, not yours). As parents we work very hard to make sure we are dealing with our toddlers as effectively as possible, especially when they’re mid-tantrum.
Sometimes, however, exhaustion gets the better of us and we will do ANYTHING we can to avoid taking a Dr.Iknoweverythingaboutkidsbutdontactuallyhaveany’s approach to emotional outbursts (theirs, not yours). As soon as we detect the smallest indication that our precious angel is about to let loose we take the following steps to ensure we don’t have to deal with a full fledged tantrum:
Get in your zone.
You’re gonna need to mentally prepare for this. Fight your parental instincts of proper discipline. Remember, this is for your sanity.
Open a bottle of wine.
It’s not easy to avoid a toddler’s psychotic state of tantrum, so if you’re unsuccessful in your attempts at least you’ll be ready. Take this quiz to find out which wine will suit you best.
Your toddler wants you to jump up and down? You jump. Your toddler wants you to be a “poo head”? You’re a poo head. Arguing will get you nowhere. You are now their bitch.
Straight up tell your toddler that they’ve won. They can smell fear. They already KNOW they’ve won, but they want to hear it straight from you.
Look away from their eyes.
Do not engage in eye contact. A hostile toddler will take this as a sign of aggression. You’re trying to avoid a throwdown, not instigate one.
Utilize every strategy you know.
Pull out the candy. Turn on the Paw Patrol. Buy them a puppy. Do whatever you have to do to avoid an impending toddler outburst.
No matter what you do it may be wrong according to your toddler. Have a back-up team of at least 8. In theory, at least one person should be able to come up with something to keep them happy.
Kiss your pride bye-bye
Understand that you have lost the battle to a tiny dictator. Own it. Don’t worry, there’s a lot of us.
Following this simple G.O.O.D.L.U.C.K. strategy should lead you to be successful in your efforts to avoid a toddler tantrum.
If you find that your efforts were futile, and you are head on with an hysterical toddler, make sure to some research into the first of these parenting articles you’ll want to read. This one thing may be the answer to your problems.
Good luck to you, good people.