What not to do when you’re waiting for your overdue baby

Photo courtesy of Sugarplum Snaps Photography

Photo courtesy of Sugarplum Snaps Photography

Due date, shmue date.

 

Typical gestation is between 37 to 42 weeks. That’s 5 weeks that your baby could make it’s appearance at any given time…but let me tell you, once you’ve reached your “due date” you reach a whole new level of “get this kid out of me”.

If you’re like me you’ve had 1, or2, or 3 babies AFTER your “due date”. If you’re like me, you’re currently PAST your “due date” on your 4th baby.

Yeah…

 

Things NOT to do while waiting upon the arrival of your overdue baby:

  1. Jump on the trampoline. Seriously, I can barely waddle my way up the stairs. I’ll more than likely break something, and I highly doubt it’ll be my water.
  2. Have sex, go for long walks, and eat spicy food. Ok, so none of those things are actually a bad idea; unless you figure doing all 3 at the same time would be most effective.
  3. Tell anyone when your due date was. Really, the sympathetic looks and “hang in there” comments won’t make the baby come any faster, and it’ll likely just get increasingly more annoying.
  4. Beg, threaten, or bribe baby. Trust me, your baby doesn’t care if you’re willing to give it $100.
  5. Eat baby out of house and home. The 45 lbs of raspberries on the counter seemed like an appropriate way to overcrowd baby. Nope. I got a massive belly ache in my massive belly bump…and no baby.

Clearly, none of these things have worked for me or else I would no longer be pregnant.

I’ll have to be patient.

Not my forte.

Fuck.

 

 

 

1 Comment

  1. Pam

    When it’s ready, and not a moment before…
    Love you sweetie!!!

    Reply

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