A letter to me ( from my sexy future self)

A letter to myself
a-letter-to-me

 

Hey girl!

First of all, let me start by telling you—because I know it’s been on your mind–your boobs do bounce back, and you will age gracefully. At 50 you still tell people you’re 29, and they believe you. Well done!

Listen. I know what you’re going through right now.  The kids are little. You’re exhausted. You’re overwhelmed. You’re working your absolute hardest. You’re doing everything you can to make sure those kids are getting what they need, the house is getting cleaned, and that guy you live with is reasonably happy. You’re drained. You’re maxed out.

You’re feeling like everything you’re doing is wrong.

It’s not.

It’s not. It’s not. It’s not.

Yep, you’re making mistakes. OF COURSE YOU’RE MAKING MISTAKES!!! You won’t stop making mistakes. Even when the kids are adults you’ll continue to mess up.

Guess what?

You AND your children learn from those mistakes. They help you grow. They contribute to the person you become. They allow those kids to see that you are a human being. If you were perfect all the time you wouldn’t be doing those little people any favors. They’ve grown up having a realistic idea of what the world is like: imperfect. Your mistakes have allowed them to understand that THEY are allowed to make mistakes. Your mistakes have given them the ability to understand their own mistakes, acknowledge them, and move on as better people, not making their same mistake twice.

 

You’re thinking you yell too much right now. That you cry too often in front of the kids. That you aren’t effectively disciplining the kids. That you let them watch too much t.v. and eat too much junk food. That you swear too often.

All of the above is true.

Guess what?

They lived! What’s more, they lived AND they’re successful, well adjusted adults.  Again, they are learning that you are a human being. You have feelings. You have strong moments and you have weak moments. You are normalizing these things for them. You still think you’re sentencing them to a lifetime of therapy.

Guess what?

You’re not.

You’re not. You’re not. You’re not.

You have regrets. Most of those regrets don’t go away, and there’s many more stacked on your (already) long list. You eventually learn to forgive yourself, though. Once you learn to forgive yourself you are able to fully understand that wonderful job that you did as a mother. I’m telling you now so you don’t have to wait that long: You are doing a wonderful job as a mother. Give yourself credit now. You feel empowered when you finally acknowledge what you’ve accomplished, and the beautiful people you’ve raised. Allow yourself that amazing feeling NOW. It will make this time with your children that much sweeter.

 

There were bad times. Your children remember those.

Guess what?

They remember the good times even better: the movie nights every Friday. The baking in the kitchen. The gardening. The adventures you went on. The walks to school. The bedtime hugs. The activities you drove them to. The sleepovers they had with friends. The marshmallow roasts. The shopping sprees. The (occasional) trips to the candy store. The chats about their love interests in high school. The birthday parties.

Above all, they remember the unconditional love you showed them. They knew it then and they know it now. That’s all they needed then and that’s all they need now.

Guess what kind of people they have become?

Gentle, generous, compassionate, empathetic, caring people.

 

They remember you following the rules of motherhood. You sewing and crocheting. You taking off to yoga, or out with your friends. You reading a book or writing while they played at the park. You taking care of you so you can be the mother you desire to be.

Guess what kind of parents they have become?

They’re loving to their children. They have the utmost best intentions. They strive to do and be the absolute best for parents to your grandbabies.

They use YOU as their example.

 

I won’t tell you any more. You have a long journey ahead of you, and you must figure the rest out on your own.

I’ll leave you with one thing to remember:

Love, mama.

Love those babies.

They truly won’t be small for long. Before you know it, you’re, well, 50 (with amazing breasts, don’t forget that!), and your “babies” are grown.

Love yourself.

You’re doing wonderful. Believe that and remind yourself every single day.

Love always,

 

-Me

 

P.S. You’re going to need to find a better hiding spot for your wine and candy. They figure out it’s all in the laundry room pretty quick here.

 

 

22 Comments

  1. jiselle

    I think a lot of moms need to hear it’s okay to err sometimes most people never sign up for parenting classes and it’s a lot of learn as you go involved!

    Reply
    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)

      Absolutely it is. We need to give ourselves a lot more credit.

      Reply
  2. Sian Ryan

    This is just so heartwarming to read!!! You definately need to have this printed and remind yourself when times are tough how amazing and hardworking you are!!

    Reply
    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)

      Motivational words are always helpful by the fridge (because you feed these little people 32093 times a day…you’re likely to see it there a lot).
      You are amazing and hardworking, Mama:)

      Reply
  3. Jenni Petrey

    This couldn’t have come at a better time. I am exhausted and second guessing myself. Thank you for this post, it has made me realise that I am doing a great job xx

    Reply
    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)

      You definitely are doing a great job! I hope you can get some time to recharge soon, Mama:)

      Reply
  4. Ari

    I love this. I think everyone needs to hear things like this. We put so much pressure on ourselves but forget to take a step back and realize that the little things won’t matter!

    Reply
    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)

      It’s true. We’re caught up with what we “should” be doing, and often forget that what we ARE doing is the right thing.

      Reply
  5. Theresa

    You are gonna be OK. We’re all gonna be OK. This is such a sweet and inspiring post. I’m bookmarking it to come back to when I have rough times as a parent. Thank you!

    Reply
    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)

      I’m so glad it can help! We most certainly are all going to be ok:)

      Reply
  6. Pam

    You wrote this from my perspective! Absolutely love it!!!
    Excepting that my boobs didn’t ‘bounce back’, they are now just floppy and bouncy… 😂

    Reply
    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)

      As long as you’re not still wearing nursing bras I’d say that’s progress:)

      Reply
  7. Debra

    Always remember that a mistake is only a learning experience. Becomes a habit when you do it 3 or more times.

    Reply
    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)

      Absolutely!

      Reply
  8. Shem

    This was so beautifully written! I love the concept and the letter-writing style. As a daughter of a mother who constantly put me before her, I can totally relate and say that I remember all the good times and memories more than anything else!

    Reply
    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)

      That is so lovely to hear:)

      Reply
  9. Suz

    I’m not a mom yet, but I have a feeling I’m going to need some inspiration and uplifting when it happens. This is such a great post, I’m going to have to share it will all of my mom friends! You’re all rockstars, in my books!

    Reply
    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)

      I’m sure your mom friends will be there for you. And I’ll be here for you…with wine:)

      Reply
  10. Christine Em

    I loved reading this! Do they really bounce back? lol I’m still waiting for that 🙂
    Making mistakes makes us human! I tell my kids all the time its how we learn.
    Sharing for other mums to enjoy too. Great post!

    Reply
    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)

      The bouncing back part is very wishful thinking;) Making mistakes is important! Thanks for sharing!

      Reply
  11. jehava brown

    I love this so much and is exactly what I needed to read this morning! thanks so much!

    Reply
    1. Samantha Palmer (Post author)

      I’m so happy it helped:)

      Reply

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